WASHINGTON: The share price of nearly every arms manufacturer world wide has taken a sharp dive since Barrack Obama was elected President of the United States of America.
The arms industry has suffered a severe downturn now the Democratic President has pledged to stop invading oil rich countries.
One senior executive of a well known arms manufacturer, speaking on the condition of anonymity, said his company had experienced a massive drop in profits.
“We’ve just developed a new automatic rifle designed to kill over a hundred Muslims per minute. What the hell are we supposed to do now that diplomacy has re-entered our foreign policy strategy?” the unnamed executive said.
“Christ, I’ve got a wife and three kids to feed.”
The industry had donated generously to the McCain campaign, and even hired someone to follow Sarah Palin on the campaign trail and impersonate the voice of God, telling her which country He wanted invaded next.
Most arms manufacturers were also betting on a McCain administration reinvading Vietnam.
Since George Bush was elected in 2000, the share price of most arms manufacturers has risen a staggering 300 per cent. But now it seems the firearm bubble is about to burst.
However some in the industry hold hope that since that Barrack Obama has been elected, the number of white supremacists upgrading their old firearms has increased.
One executive told The Bugler of plans to develop a cross-industry television, radio and print advertising campaign by changing the popular Beatles’ tune Happiness is a Warm Gun to the slogan ‘Democracy is a Warm Gun.’
The big winner out of Obama’s victory are companies that own abortion clinics, who were fearing for their lives should Sarah Palin get anywhere near the White House.
“There were genuinely grave fears there for a while,” said one industry observer.
“It’s true that Democrats have more liberal attitudes to abortion than Republicans. And if Obama is anything like Clinton or Kennedy, we’re seriously thinking about setting up an clinic on Pennsylvania Avenue for White House interns,” said the industry observer.
No comments:
Post a Comment